This is a beautiful piece, even in its experience of frailty, vulnerability, fear, and so much questioning. Also, illuminating--I had no idea Bali was fraught with a seamy intensity of western influence. The beach scene is especially disheartening. I picture an outdated scene like spring break in Ft Lauderdale in the '80's, with the extremes between locals and tourists made comparable if senior snowbirds in bathing caps were inserted bobbing in the water. It all seems weird and little like the nirvana seemingly everyone promotes. I'm so sorry that you experienced the violent and disgraceful assault and couldn't seek comfort in the way you needed.
Dawn, your reaction to the beach scene gets at how powerful a destination’s mythology can be. When a place is sold as paradise, the gap between the image and the lived reality can make harm even more disorienting, especially when everything around you keeps signaling beauty, escape, and safety. Your Ft. Lauderdale comparison sharpens the visual imbalance Courtney described while keeping her experience at the center. I appreciate the care with which you held both the social setting and the personal violation in view.
Courtney, the essay gives “gentle touch” its full moral weight: the same human gesture can be used to violate, comfort, pray, or remind someone of their humanity. Mia’s decision to put her arm around you immediately afterward becomes one of the piece’s most consequential acts of care, answering what happened in the body’s own language. That choice leaves the harm intact while refusing to let violation own the final meaning of contact. I’m grateful for the trust, precision, and restraint you brought to this first publication.
This rings so true, so visceral, so the experience of so many people who never have it recognized. I’m so glad you and Mia were there for each other in what ways you could. Your writing is really striking, thank you for sharing.
Kate, your phrase “never have it recognized” carries real weight here. Harm can become more isolating when the person who endured it is left to carry both the experience and the absence of acknowledgment around it. Mia’s presence gave Courtney an immediate witness who responded with care, while the teacher’s dismissal shows how differently recognition can shape what someone is left holding afterward. I appreciate how attentively you received both Courtney’s experience and the craft with which she entrusted it to readers.
You are the first male that I have ever heard/read who consistently ‘recognizes’ the horror of these casual assaults and the long-lasting real harm endured by the one assaulted.
And that is a lotta opportunities men bailed on in my 72 years of getting this crap in America and Europe.
Bravo Sir! Much respect!
I suspect that males get a lot of abuse as well, and demands to “just walk it off” too.
Great writing. I applaud you for finding a touching ending, one that is generous in the belief in the good in people. I'm so sorry you experienced the assault but am grateful you wrote about it. It helps others know they're not alone.
It's always a little weird to like an essay about a deeply painful and horrible event, but I appreciate the care of your writing. The ending is so lovely. Thank you for sharing!
This is a beautiful piece, even in its experience of frailty, vulnerability, fear, and so much questioning. Also, illuminating--I had no idea Bali was fraught with a seamy intensity of western influence. The beach scene is especially disheartening. I picture an outdated scene like spring break in Ft Lauderdale in the '80's, with the extremes between locals and tourists made comparable if senior snowbirds in bathing caps were inserted bobbing in the water. It all seems weird and little like the nirvana seemingly everyone promotes. I'm so sorry that you experienced the violent and disgraceful assault and couldn't seek comfort in the way you needed.
Dawn, your reaction to the beach scene gets at how powerful a destination’s mythology can be. When a place is sold as paradise, the gap between the image and the lived reality can make harm even more disorienting, especially when everything around you keeps signaling beauty, escape, and safety. Your Ft. Lauderdale comparison sharpens the visual imbalance Courtney described while keeping her experience at the center. I appreciate the care with which you held both the social setting and the personal violation in view.
Courtney, the essay gives “gentle touch” its full moral weight: the same human gesture can be used to violate, comfort, pray, or remind someone of their humanity. Mia’s decision to put her arm around you immediately afterward becomes one of the piece’s most consequential acts of care, answering what happened in the body’s own language. That choice leaves the harm intact while refusing to let violation own the final meaning of contact. I’m grateful for the trust, precision, and restraint you brought to this first publication.
This rings so true, so visceral, so the experience of so many people who never have it recognized. I’m so glad you and Mia were there for each other in what ways you could. Your writing is really striking, thank you for sharing.
Kate, your phrase “never have it recognized” carries real weight here. Harm can become more isolating when the person who endured it is left to carry both the experience and the absence of acknowledgment around it. Mia’s presence gave Courtney an immediate witness who responded with care, while the teacher’s dismissal shows how differently recognition can shape what someone is left holding afterward. I appreciate how attentively you received both Courtney’s experience and the craft with which she entrusted it to readers.
You are the first male that I have ever heard/read who consistently ‘recognizes’ the horror of these casual assaults and the long-lasting real harm endured by the one assaulted.
And that is a lotta opportunities men bailed on in my 72 years of getting this crap in America and Europe.
Bravo Sir! Much respect!
I suspect that males get a lot of abuse as well, and demands to “just walk it off” too.
Where to put the anger?
Are you taking submissions for the emerging writers series? Please let me know. Thank you.
Great writing. I applaud you for finding a touching ending, one that is generous in the belief in the good in people. I'm so sorry you experienced the assault but am grateful you wrote about it. It helps others know they're not alone.
It's always a little weird to like an essay about a deeply painful and horrible event, but I appreciate the care of your writing. The ending is so lovely. Thank you for sharing!