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Damon Evans's avatar

YES! Throughout my life, I was always under pressure to succeed. I’m not sure if that was because I was the 1st male in my family for some time, my parents and relatives' own narcissistic traits and personalities, especially from that woman who called herself my mother. Or that they believed and expected me to redeem myself to make up in their eyes for the deficit that I was born Gay. Who knows? Perhaps it was a combination of all of these.

Being under all that pressure was overwhelmingly exhausting! However, in retrospect, I realize

that many of my accomplishments were driven by the desire to seek their approval. Therefore, they were achievements in life that I was not permitted to own. Most importantly, their outrageous and ridiculous expectations left me feeling invisible to the very people I expected and prayed would love me for who I am.

I think Franklin is saying that a parent’s lack of fulfillment is too commonly passed on to their children, so that they may fulfill their own selfish needs, thereby accommodating some emptiness that exists within themselves.

As a former college professor, I would always tell my students, “Life is a journey and not a race! These years you have within these walls and classrooms are a gift and opportunity to fuck up as much as you like before you grace our world stages. Never forget that every person has the right to fail and to learn from their mistakes and shortcomings. It is not a fatal flaw to do so.”

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Ariana's avatar

I think the novel is somewhat heavy handed at times but I do appreciate how Franklin is illustrating how capitalism drives his parents/his family and the pressure they put on him. They aren't "wealthy enough" where their kids can afford to make mistakes or be messy (another perk of white generational wealth! when one error doesn't set your family back). I see his parents has somewhat fulfilled but wanting to ensure their hard work isn't lost both out of selfishness and love, they don't want their children to suffer

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