This answers none of those questions, but I loved how a few days after the "incident" (as his family calls it), he called his sister, told her all the details and let her tell his parents. Family dynamics are always so interesting to me. Who is the bearer of bad news? Who is responsible for bringing the family together? I'm about halfway through and I haven't really seen the sister appear again except for her role as messenger. I'm not sure what this says about Smith either, that he felt it was too daunting to tell his parents and had to ask his sister to do it.
I can honestly say I've never experienced a real, solid, life-changing world-wrecking fuckup, and I think I'm quite scared to ever even come close to one, so I've mostly avoided anything that might present the opportunity. It's not that I don't believe my family and other support systems would help me if I asked, but from experience with seeing how they process other people's smaller fuckups or even norm deviations (queer? unmarried? not religious?), I know that the resource/material support would be there, but also judgement. I don't think they can always help it -- I can't always help judging, either, so maybe I should try to have some compassion for that. It is an overwhelming and unexpected amount of work to support someone through a crisis. At the same time, some part of me would appreciate the safety net of having a support system that openly acknowledges the reality of fuckups and the fact that there can be an aftermath, even if there's a lot of pain involved.
I admit I didn’t love Smith when I first started reading. He’s grown on me and I see him as deeply flawed and sensitive. There’s this kind of restlessness and unease about Smith. He seems untethered. All of my fuck ups have been related to my bipolar one disorder, nothing like mania and psychosis to make you make some unruly decisions! Everything changed with the diagnosis and I was able to see my decisions in a different context. When I got out of the hospital I was so thankful to have friends and family to support and can see how easy it is for people to get lost in the system and/or end up unhoused. I thought about this too when Smith is paying for his first session with Mancini. There’s a lot happening in this book surrounding class privilege.
Just finished Great Black Hope. Couldn't put it down. I loved the mix of suspense, humor, and, most importantly, great insight into the nature of addiction--the way the propensity towards substance abuse intersects with family expectations, class belonging, race, sexual orientation, personality. No two addicts are alike. Yet a belief in "terminal uniqueness" can hinder any kind of recovery. I could relate to Smith's contention at one point that he wasn't an addict/alcoholic because he didn't use or drink every day. (And what a great last name for Everyman--are we all Smiths in that we all fuck up?)
My life of fuck-uppery was often fun, sometimes destructive, and always worrisome or at the very least annoying to friends, family, partners, and, in many instances, perfect strangers.
My parents loved me and wanted the best for me. But would they ever be there for me if I got in serious trouble for a violation of the law like what Smith did? No. I've always known this about them. My father was not there for me when I needed him, not due to a fuckup on my part, but just the way things happened. He could easily have helped me, and chose not to because of his wife of 18 months. Were my mother still alive, she might have been able to overrule him -- she could sometimes, because he's not really capable of making thoughtful decisions on his own.
I realize that being a white woman, the laws most likely would not have been applied to me in the same way as they were to Smith. But his father came through for him, and he was able to return home to stabilize his life, which is another option that is not realistically available to me. I think some of it is class -- Smith's family was concerned about appearances. Mine were too, but it's not because anyone is gunning for them or they have anything to lose.
This answers none of those questions, but I loved how a few days after the "incident" (as his family calls it), he called his sister, told her all the details and let her tell his parents. Family dynamics are always so interesting to me. Who is the bearer of bad news? Who is responsible for bringing the family together? I'm about halfway through and I haven't really seen the sister appear again except for her role as messenger. I'm not sure what this says about Smith either, that he felt it was too daunting to tell his parents and had to ask his sister to do it.
and that the parents never directly ask him about it just immediately launch into "what's next"!
I can honestly say I've never experienced a real, solid, life-changing world-wrecking fuckup, and I think I'm quite scared to ever even come close to one, so I've mostly avoided anything that might present the opportunity. It's not that I don't believe my family and other support systems would help me if I asked, but from experience with seeing how they process other people's smaller fuckups or even norm deviations (queer? unmarried? not religious?), I know that the resource/material support would be there, but also judgement. I don't think they can always help it -- I can't always help judging, either, so maybe I should try to have some compassion for that. It is an overwhelming and unexpected amount of work to support someone through a crisis. At the same time, some part of me would appreciate the safety net of having a support system that openly acknowledges the reality of fuckups and the fact that there can be an aftermath, even if there's a lot of pain involved.
I admit I didn’t love Smith when I first started reading. He’s grown on me and I see him as deeply flawed and sensitive. There’s this kind of restlessness and unease about Smith. He seems untethered. All of my fuck ups have been related to my bipolar one disorder, nothing like mania and psychosis to make you make some unruly decisions! Everything changed with the diagnosis and I was able to see my decisions in a different context. When I got out of the hospital I was so thankful to have friends and family to support and can see how easy it is for people to get lost in the system and/or end up unhoused. I thought about this too when Smith is paying for his first session with Mancini. There’s a lot happening in this book surrounding class privilege.
Is anyone else still waiting on the book from Allstora? Mine hasn't even shipped yet😭
Just finished Great Black Hope. Couldn't put it down. I loved the mix of suspense, humor, and, most importantly, great insight into the nature of addiction--the way the propensity towards substance abuse intersects with family expectations, class belonging, race, sexual orientation, personality. No two addicts are alike. Yet a belief in "terminal uniqueness" can hinder any kind of recovery. I could relate to Smith's contention at one point that he wasn't an addict/alcoholic because he didn't use or drink every day. (And what a great last name for Everyman--are we all Smiths in that we all fuck up?)
My life of fuck-uppery was often fun, sometimes destructive, and always worrisome or at the very least annoying to friends, family, partners, and, in many instances, perfect strangers.
My parents loved me and wanted the best for me. But would they ever be there for me if I got in serious trouble for a violation of the law like what Smith did? No. I've always known this about them. My father was not there for me when I needed him, not due to a fuckup on my part, but just the way things happened. He could easily have helped me, and chose not to because of his wife of 18 months. Were my mother still alive, she might have been able to overrule him -- she could sometimes, because he's not really capable of making thoughtful decisions on his own.
I realize that being a white woman, the laws most likely would not have been applied to me in the same way as they were to Smith. But his father came through for him, and he was able to return home to stabilize his life, which is another option that is not realistically available to me. I think some of it is class -- Smith's family was concerned about appearances. Mine were too, but it's not because anyone is gunning for them or they have anything to lose.