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Jenna's avatar

This is a really wonderful essay that has given me a lot to think about. Thank you, Lauren, for sharing it.

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Lauren Leonardi's avatar

Thanks for reading.

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Philofilm's avatar

This is a terrific essay that covers so much territory. I will reflect on it for a while. Thank you for writing and sharing.

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Catherine Lent's avatar

Fascinating, compelling, beautifully written and thoughtful, especially about the murkier areas of the whole experience. Palpable relief that you got out of that last visit safely. I'm going to be thinking about this one for a while.

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Lauren Leonardi's avatar

Thanks for the kind words, Catherine. Glad it had an impact.

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Tedecia Bromfield's avatar

Wow beautifully written

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Lauren Leonardi's avatar

Thanks, that's really kind. :-)

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Amy Turn Sharp's avatar

I get excited for every email from you. I know I’m about to be transported away from my mind/the news! ❤️

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HappyArtMarti's avatar

The narrator, Lauren, gives us such a generous set of glimpses into a series of carefully experienced and documented circumstances that come straight up from the depth of the more complicated of nuanced human exchange. This essay shows how thought provoking a truthfully conveyed weird-ass experience can be both uplifting and validating to all of us with our own confusing experiences. Like maybe we’re not as outlier as we thought. In a good way. Brava!

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Francesca's avatar

I love the patience of this, echoing both the journey of the narrator and Bastien, as well as the journey of the narrator to separate from cultural expectations of beauty and desirability. Very moving. Thank you for writing!

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cosimo's avatar

looking on from my memories, i'm 80, i can feel the flux and stream of personal parameters as they lead me on... Lauren writes the feelings and directions available to us as travelers through her own paths taken... kudos and bravo mon brave'...

i'm male...

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Obakeng Masego Mooketsi's avatar

I have a complaint, why do you guys do that though 🤔?

I understand Bastien was doing his job, and he might've went overboard, but still......You gave 😳 an uncertain expectation.

Not saying what you did was wrong....

Of course, the moment felt right and it came at the most palpable hour that was building up for almost a year now. Obviously he thought 🙄 something was up.

But I blame him, for doing anything that was above his job, that he felt entitled to get more than what he bargained for.

It was a bit cruel 😢 of you to finish in that way. So curt, and subtle 😏 and without room for the hot musky air to clear. But you didn't see him in that 😕 light, unfortunately he didn't know that you never saw him like that, that is why it was CONFUSING and unfair for him.

I've been in his situation, more than twice...and honestly I hate it because it's worse than dying and going to hell. It's the most delipidating feeling ever, the most distraught and disheartening thing that one could go through. I even stopped dating afterwards.

I felt lost, I felt alienated, out of this world emotionally, not connected and totally detached.

What was this 😳?

I felt confused, almost the same as Bastien, because you seem like you want something, but the reality of the matter is that you DON'T WANT IT, even after you receive it.

It makes no total sense.

Your read, makes total sense.....I get it, but I'm talking about the situation Bastien finds himself in, it's completely puzzling, that's why he was even mentioning the parking lot, because he didn't know what was on your mind the minute you placed your hand on his, and drove it towards your lower half.

He felt welcomed, and then thrown out again.

It's the world's most confusing thing ever. I don't ever like being in that situation, and quit dating altogether....

I do not want to feel like that anymore.

I understand my worth, and I know who I am. Now when someone welcomes me with uncertainty, and then doesn't clarify it, it just leaves you dry, almost feeling like you violated a person's space.

At least you allowed him to finish the 1st round and didn't allow for the second, what's only hurting is how HOT, he was feeling inside that now had to be distinguished because he rang the alarm ⏰️ to a house that wasn't burning 🔥 anymore. The fire was off, he just never realized it, which is what's painful about this story.

He was the thing for her, just not enough to call this STABLE.

(N.B)

LOVE ❤️ IS MESSED UP, especially when you confuse things, or get mixed signals.

Loved your read Miss Lauren. Liked 👍 it very much....Was just sharing my personal take on a similar thing that I went through....

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