At the biannual bilateral feelings summit, Ames’s friend John says, “I have to realize that my kid is his own person, he doesn’t make me who I am. That’s there, but if I get my sense of self through Alexander, I’m going to end up being one of those dads who ends up in a brawl with the referee and a bunch of other dads at his Little League hockey games. It sounds to me like you’re doing the gay version of that.” How does the trap of parenthood as an identity affect our three main characters? How does it affect your identity and how you live your life?