8 Comments

Love watching women weightlift the fragile masculinity out of the room.

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Hi Roxanne! I love you work so much and this was a great piece, I always learn so much from you! I wanted to share my thoughts on your take on the intensity of parents' involvement in the college admissions process, particularly in Asian American families.

For context I am a first generation Asian American and while I am happy that your experience in getting into college was low stakes, I wanted to share my personal experience and understanding of Asian American culture just as some food for thought. Many Asian American parents are immigrants and their home countries have very little opportunities for education and work. Also, its hard to move to the US. But it's an aspiration for many asian immigrants because the US has a lot more opportunities compared to their home country. To be an American citizen is a huge privilege that many of our family members at home were not granted, getting into college is the first step to obtain generational wealth for the bloodline of that asian family. Migrating to the US from these poor countries is a huge opportunity and the stakes feel VERY high. Many asian American immigrant parents cannot even obtain white collar jobs to provide for the family to the extent that they would want. Although many asian American youth DO experience depression as a result of "tiger-parents" or high standards, being mindful of our parents wishes is something that is important to us deep down..because we strongly value family and starting our generational wealth that we wouldn't have obtained otherwise in our motherland. Pushing younger generations is the love language of many parents, because they understand their children had the privilege of being in the United States young and therefore should take advantage of as many opportunities as possible. I am NOT saying its a perfect family value system, but I just wanted to give another perspective for some food for thought. I know asian American family dynamics are far from perfect. But I hope we can have these conversation to understand intergenerational conflict in order to heal what many of these students are going through and find a solution or mentality that works for them.

I love your work and writing and I love reading what you write. Please keep up the great work!!

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That Leslie Jamison story. Really moved me.

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Thank you for this newsletter! I really enjoy reading some of the articles. My holiday was okay. I had a lovely evening with family on Saturday and spent the day on Thanksgiving with my mom in the hospital. I am excited to start off my holiday music season by seeing Matt Rogers comedy christmas album "Have You Heard of Christmas" live tour. It is very silly and brings me joy and I like to sing along to it.

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Getting ready for the holidays? I have bought four copies of "Opinions" from Three Lives & Company Books one of which is for me, so in answer to your question: I clearly need to buy MORE Roxane Gay awesomeness from the best independent small bookstore but it's a start ....

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I enjoyed a Friendsgiving on Saturday. The main attraction was seafood gumb, so I was in heaven--especially because I didn’t have to cook it. And we had a bunch of other foods; I contributed seafood dressing, 6-cheese macaroni and cheese, and curry deviled eggs topped with fried oysters and lump crabmeat. As for music, I love the various “Very Black” and “Soulful” Christmas playlists on Spotify. “Back Door Santa” is a person fave!

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I only listen to podcasts with Abby, Glennon and Roxane. Laughing at the LA dinner story like I've ever been there.

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